OUTRAGEOUS INTERNET ANALYST
Henry Blodget appears at first to be a genuine analyst without any particular bias, but soon emerges as a true 'New Era' guy. Be especially careful if you have puts, because he has been known to issue bullish statements on, or a couple of days before, option expiration Friday.
IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION CONCERNING THIS PERSON, PLEASE TRY AND CONSIDER ANOTHER VIEWPOINT REGARDING EQUITIES
AMZN stock seems immune to any bad news.
Amazon.com announces car buying service in partnership with Greenlight.com - news item.
Launches Photon Buying Service Provided by Sunlight.com
Easy, Haggle-Free Shopping Supported by a Huge Fusion Reaction in Outer Space
SEATTLE--(BUSINESS WIRE)--Aug. 23, 2000--Leading online retailer Amazon.com (Nasdaq:AMZN) today announced that it will launch a sunshine service Thursday, providing customers with a superior photon-buying experience backed by service and support from an expansive network of fast-talkers affiliated with Amazon partner Sunlight.com.
This innovative partnership takes the hassle out of buying illumination by offering Amazon.com shoppers access to Sunlight.com's proven services, including up-front, no-haggle pricing; one-stop shopping for convenient financing; a personal account manager for each customer; and after-purchase support and service. Photon buyers can browse and search by wavelength or intensity, and even compare two noontimes side by side in Sunlight's Online-Showroom. Consumers can specify the precise options they want and configure their sunrises and sunsets when ordering.
The Amazon.com/Sunlight.com service is available anywhere between the Arctic and Antarctic circles, including such major markets as Atlanta, Boston, Chicago, Detroit, Los Angeles, New York City, San Francisco and Bora-Bora.
Less than a day's worth of sunshine may be obtained. Customers can order in units of hours, minutes, or smaller intervals. Using Amazon.com's patented OneBlinkSM feature, even a second's worth of daylight can be purchased.
"We're excited to be involved in this emerging industry online,'' said the perpetually irritating Jeff Bezos, founder and CEO of Amazon.com. "Sunlight combines the interests of all parties -- the customers, the dealers, and photosynthetic organisms -- producing a simple and fast buying experience for customers, and providing yet another complication for security analysts. It really makes you wonder what we'll be up to next. We also like the fact that our fulfillment costs are zero - it's simply a matter of time until the earth is correctly positioned. It's not going to be a headache like the ones we've got with our other product lines."
"We've focused my 20 year career -- on improving the photon-buying experience,'' enthused Joel "Shades" Manby, CEO of Sunlight.com. "I am thrilled to introduce Amazon.com's 23 million experienced online shoppers to the best photon buying experience available. Consumers will be able to feel great about purchasing illumination through Amazon's exclusive new partner, Sunlight.com.''
Incredibly famous Internet analyst Mary Meeker was reported to have said that this new offering by Amazon.com "means that I'll continue seeing things through rose colored glasses - because they offer pretty good UV protection." Another analyst, Henry "Fooled Ya!" Blodget expressed confidence in the venture and said that Bezos should have no problem issuing another two billion dollars in junk bonds to finance the venture.
Sunlight.com is a subsidiary of Starlight.com, the premier source of electromagnetic radiation in the universe. Sunlight.com was founded by MolecularNebula.com and became operational about four billion years ago after LocalSupernova.com provided the stimulus to begin a contraction to a critical mass object. Since then, Sunlight.com has been a reliable source of illumination for a moderately sized solar system - and is expected to remain so for another five billion years, or until the Internet mania cools off - whichever comes first.
Nothing can be said about Amazon.com that hasn't already been said in endless upbeat press releases before. If you really, really care, go look one up.
Jeff Bezos lets us know what he's thinking in a one hour interview.
to recommend Internet stocks? Only after they've gone up
a whole lot. That's when!
This is not a joke. It really happened.
June 2, 2000 the end of a holiday shortened 4-day week during
which the NASDAQ surged over 19%,
Mary Meeker made bullish comments about the stocks listed in the table below. (On CNBC w/Maria, if I'm not mistaken)
|Stock||June 2, 2000||Dec 1, 2000||Change in 6 months||June 1, 2001||Change in 12 months|
had risen from lows following the April-May declines,
but early June represented a 'local maximum' in most cases.
Everbody's favorite Internet analyst prompts development of hot-selling toy.
Blodget says that Amazon.com could be like AOL in that it gets past a rough patch and dominates its market - news item.
Amazon.com denies credit concerns as stock tumbles - news item.
Says Not Running Out of Cash - Makes a Stunning
PALO ALTO, Calif. (Roiters) --June, 2000-- Internet retailer Amazon.com Inc. (NasdaqNM:AMZN), responding to negative research on the company, said on Friday that it was ``nowhere near running out of cash or clever ways of fooling investors.''
The comment came largely in response to a report from a Lehman Brothers analyst who described Amazon's credit as ''worse than that of my unemployed brother in law.'' Lehman urged in the report that investors avoid the convertible bonds like the plague. "From a bond perspective, we find the credit extremely weak and deteriorating,'' Lehman said, warning that Amazon.com risks running out of cash by the middle of 2001.
Amazon.com spokesman Bill Curry called the comments ''absolute, pure unadulterated hogwash.'' "We are nowhere near running out of cash,'' Curry said while smirking. ''Anyone who understands the cash flow dynamics of this business knows this. And anyway, how can you trust Lehman? They're just a bunch of weirdoes.''
Curry noted that the company ended the first quarter with more than $1 billion in cash, and expects to become cash flow positive later this year, the year after that, or perhaps a decade from now.
He declined to speculate whether the company would need to raise additional cash before it became profitable. However, he did say it was time to announce Amazon.com's latest move in "Improving the customer experience." Curry pointed out that one thing that people like to have while flying is something good to read. "Why not combine book retailing with air transport?"
Though a tightly held secret until today, Curry reported that Jeff Bezos decided that in the face of adverse analyst opinions, it was time to unveil the next step in Amazon's growth plans. The company will compete with Boeing and Airbus Industrie by manufacturing the biggest passenger jet in the world. With a seating capacity of 1,300, an inside-the-plane Internet server farm, and a flying warehouse stocked with ten thousand books, the aircraft promises to be all things to all people. Not only will passengers be able to order a novel and have it delivered promptly to their assigned seat, but since the aircraft design includes a bomb bay, it will allow books to be parachuted to customers living below the flight path. "This will eliminate fulfillment costs in a single stroke," enthused Curry.
The spokesman added that due to Amazon.com's proximity to Boeing, recruiting aerospace engineers should not be a problem.
When asked about the scope of the project, Curry said that the company will go ahead and manufacture hundreds of jets even if no carriers submit orders. "We're probably going to end up flying them, so we envision the exciting prospect of running our own airline," he gushed. If that happens, the company has plans to simultaneously expand into the hotel and rent-a-car business. Bezos is said to have remarked, "We should always take the opportunity to use our high name recognition as a means of entering other areas of commerce. Personally, I see no limits. This sort of tomfoolery allows us to keep on dangling a bigger carrot at the end of an ever-lengthening stick. The investment community can't get enough of it."
Reached later for comment, Internet analyst Henry Blodget did a quick back-of-the-envelope calculation and pronounced the stock "even more of a buy than when I issued that ridiculous $400 price target 18 months ago." He added that investors should not worry. "I still expect to get my million dollar bonus this year, but thanks for expressing concern."
Mary Meeker, who issued positive statements about the stock on June 2, only to see it fall in value 42% over the next fifteen trading days, did not return reporters phone calls. A spokesman at Morgan Stanley hinted that she spent most of the day "looking for a time-machine."
ABOUT THE COMPANY
Amazon.com is an online retailer that offers for sale millions of items in categories such as books, music, toys, electronics, software, garden supplies, and collectibles. It is expected to broaden the available merchandise and services to include clothing, colorful piñatas, haircuts, orthodontia, ballet lessons, and pest control. This will be accomplished through complex interlocking financial agreements with firms that are desperate for web traffic.
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